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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23389888">A Cactus and Nothing More</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenninjagal/pseuds/Greenninjagal'>Greenninjagal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cacti - Freeform, Cactus puns, M/M, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, The author has been fighting writers block, she doesn't know a lot about plants, the author actually kills every plant she touches so</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:47:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,266</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23389888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenninjagal/pseuds/Greenninjagal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Is that the cactus I gave you?” Virgil asked, before he could stop himself.</p>
<p>Because well...it couldn’t be the cactus Virgil gave him. Virgil’s “gift” had been 9/10ths dead and suffering badly for it (not that Virgil had tried to kill it or anything. He had looked up how to take care of a cactus and it still hadn’t worked for him). The one in Deceit’s hand was blooming with bright yellow flowers that matched Deceit’s gloves and was a healthy green color.</p>
<p>Deceit gave him an offended look for his trouble. “Of course not! Can’t you see that I let yours die and then went to the trouble of getting the same exact one to keep and admire in my room?” <br/>***<br/>aka Virgil and Deceit talk about Cacti and nothing more.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>277</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Cactus and Nothing More</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Virgil first gave Deceit the cactus it was supposed to be thinly veiled insult. Something to remind the side that while Thomas was coming to terms with him, what he and Virgil had was not salvageable.</p>
<p>It wasn’t even like he went out of his way for it either: Patton had gifted him the little cactus a few weeks after his official coronation to the Light Side and Virgil had accidentally killed it the way he killed most plants. So a little regifting and he handed over the witted falling apart cactus to Deceit the day after the liar had managed to finally get his points across to Thomas.</p>
<p>“A cactus?” Deceit said slowly eyeing the withering plant.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Virgil said already turned around and heading back off into the blurry grey fog that separated all their rooms. Virgil liked to point out it used to be a Black Fog between all the dark sides’ rooms, shrouding them in darkness so thick it made it dangerous to go anywhere. Especially when one remembered that Remus liked to rearrange the entire mindscape and often left trapped doors anywhere he pleased, along with the booby traps, false staircases, maze of mirrors, and sometimes even that shark pit. When Virgil switched to the Light side he had been even more suspicious of the white fog that swished around the place like little clouds. The floors didn’t rearrange themselves but any time Virgil left his room he was reminded of the great expanse of Thomas’s mind and almost immediately started feeling sick without a wall to lean against.</p>
<p>The grey fog was...a compromise. Virgil didn’t know how to feel about it, but it had started coming the more that Thomas listened to Deceit and accepted Remus, and hung out with Virgil. It wasn’t bad.</p>
<p>It wasn’t good either.</p>
<p>Virgil didn’t like being out in it, so he tried to push it out of his mind.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Virgil said again, “A cactus, because you’re a massive prick still, Dee.”</p>
<p>And because Virgil also didn’t know how to feel about Deceit, he fled the scene and pushed the interaction from his mind.</p>
<p>That was supposed to be the end of it. A single insult and nothing more.</p>
<p>But then Thomas...got himself into one of those <em>situations</em>.</p>
<p>A situation just like before when Thomas was a teenager and Virgil was juggling the fifty million things Thomas needed to focus on and he was <em>failing </em>and <em>dropping </em>things--</p>
<p>“Why don’t we ask Deceit?” Patton suggested. “He’ll probably have an answer!”</p>
<p>Roman blew out a breath with a hand on his chest, “Oh thank god, I didn’t want to be the one who said it.”</p>
<p>You...Patton,” Thomas said with all the disbelief Virgil felt, “Want to ask Deceit for help?”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah kiddo!” Patton smiled that dopey, sunshine smile of his. “He’s a part of you too, ya know!”</p>
<p>“Thomas if I may--” Logan interjected from the hall, folding his hands in an excited, yet focused manner. “Patton may be on to something here. In the past Deceit has worked closely with Virgil to get you out of tight binds like this one. Lying may not be the absolutely best solution for the overall conundrum, but it will provide a temporary expansion of time for us to fix the problem in another way. Much like boarding up a broken window until we can replace the window all together.”</p>
<p>“But what if it doesn’t?” Virgil growled. “What if Joan sees through the lie and hates us even more?”</p>
<p>“Mhm, doubtful,” Logan said. “Joan is a very understanding friend. Even if they aren’t misdirected by our misdirection, they will likely allow us time to explain why we felt the need to lie to them.”</p>
<p>“You just don’t want to work with Deceit!” Roman declared flourishing in Virgil’s direction. “Don’t worry, Channing Tantrum! You aren’t going to be replaced!”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t worried about being replaced,” Virgil grumbled. “But I am now! Thanks Roman!”</p>
<p>Patton cupped his own face, “Oh no! We would never do that to you! That’s not what I meant!”</p>
<p>“I agree,” Logan said, “Its more likely that I would scoot over to allow room to my left for Deceit to say his piece.” </p>
<p>Thomas absently looked around his living room with a critical eye, “I need a bigger living room, if I’m going to keep having theses existential crises.”</p>
<p>“Bigger living room means more room for puppies!” Patton said</p>
<p>“Bigger living room means more Me!” Roman added, excitedly. </p>
<p>“No Thomas!” Logan shouted, “Stay on track!”</p>
<p>Their host, Patton, and Roman, all shared a groan, which didn’t make the uneasiness in Virgil dim any. Of course Logan corralling the others to focus just made Virgil more aware of the time that was passing-- the time that they were losing to come up with a solution to the problem that Virgil created because he wasn’t doing his job effectively enough.</p>
<p>Joan was due over in half an hour, and they needed to figure out how to tell them that they promised to spend the day with Terrance-- without letting on the the fact that Terrance had asked for help getting Joan’s surprise birthday present together. </p>
<p>“Alright lets call Deceit,” Thomas said, spinning to face the left side of Logan and throwing his arms out, “DECEIT!”</p>
<p>And it was supposed to be Deceit showing up with his cunning and theatrical smirk, having obviously heard them all talking about him and preening under the knew attention. Virgil would have bet money on seeing that Snake’s overconfident smile; and he would have felt relieved that Deceit would have a pre-preapred lie in the making that would only take a second or two to clue Thomas in on and the he’d be gone again.</p>
<p>It was <em>not </em>supposed to be Deceit being flung up into the room holding that damn little cactus in his hands and it flying out of his hands to land on the floor.</p>
<p>“De--oh,” Thomas said eyeing the succulent as it tumbled over and spilled metaphorical dirt on the ground. “Sorry?”</p>
<p>“Thomas,” Deceit said with a resigned lit, “So wonderful for you to call. I was <em>totally </em>expecting it.” He bent down to pick up the little plant, careful of the needles and investigated the flower with an analyzing eye. </p>
<p>“Is that a cactus?” Roman asked.</p>
<p>“....No.”</p>
<p>“Is that the cactus I gave you?” Virgil asked, before he could stop himself.</p>
<p>Because well...it couldn’t be the cactus Virgil gave him. Virgil’s “gift” had been 9/10ths dead and suffering badly for it (not that Virgil had tried to kill it or anything. He had looked up how to take care of a cactus and it still hadn’t worked for him). The one in Deceit’s hand was <em>blooming </em>with bright yellow flowers that matched Deceit’s gloves and was a healthy green color.</p>
<p>Deceit gave him an offended look for his trouble. “Of <em>course </em>not! Can’t you see that I let yours die and then went to the trouble of getting the <em>same exact one </em>to keep and admire in my room?” </p>
<p>“You can quit with the attitude,” Virgil shot back. </p>
<p>“Me? An attitude?” Deceit scoffed, tossing his head as he rolled his eyes and banished his cactus back to his room. “Perish the thought! Now I assume that you called me up here for a reason, and not just to chat, Thomas. So come on, get out with the the day’s dilemma.”</p>
<p>That should have been the end of it. An eye roll and nothing more.</p>
<p> But Deceit spun that little lie that Thomas agreed to tell, Virgil and Deceit worked side by side just like they used to before Thomas grew up. Virgil juggled all the things that he needed to focus on and Deceit spun the lies to catch the things he dropped before they shattered. </p>
<p>And when Thomas was successfully on his way to Terrance’s with Joan none the wiser (and none the angrier at him), Virgil called it a day and sunk back down into the Mindscape.</p>
<p>It was strange, wasn’t it? That Deceit had kept his cactus- that Deceit had kept it at all. </p>
<p>And perhaps a little part of Virgil was happy about-- the same little part of him that woke him up at night because the other half of his bed was empty or because he wanted a hug but he wanted one of <em>Deceit’s </em>hugs. It was the same little part of him he had been trying to hush and squash and silence for years now.</p>
<p>The part of him that still wanted Deceit in his life, in Thomas’s life.</p>
<p>And wasn’t that annoying? Virgil was overthinking this. </p>
<p>It was a mostly dead cactus. Deceit had probably grown it back from the edge for spite against him and no reason more.</p>
<p>He picked up one of the other plants he had in his room: another cactus, because Patton knew they required little help from humans and though they could liven Virgil’s room a little. Virgil adored Patton, he did, but he didn’t have the heart to tell the Moral side that he just wasn’t good with plants. </p>
<p>But Deceit was. Probably was.</p>
<p>And Deceit really had saved Thomas from a really bad day today. A half dead plant probably wasn’t a very good “Thank you”.</p>
<p>But Virgil wasn’t exactly good at thank you’s either. So he left a second cactus outside Dee’s door with a note that read “You’re Still a Prick”.</p>
<p>And by the next time Virgil got the courage to roam to Deceit’s door, two to three days later it had vanished. </p>
<p>So it was an apology and nothing more.</p>
<p>Should have been an apology and nothing more.</p>
<p>But Patton had dropped off another little succulent for him-- this one still alive and had purple accents with it, and Virgil had once again chickened out of telling him that he routinely managed to kill all the plants he touched. Instead Virgil eyed the plant and pursed his lips. </p>
<p>Surely it wasn’t fair to the stupid little cactus that it got stuck being gifted to Virgil. (Where was Patton even getting these from?) It didn’t deserve to suffer in Virgil’s room for months on end while he tittered about it and begged it not to die on him like its predecessors.</p>
<p>Oh geez, was Virgil serious acting like the cactus had feelings? That’s a new low for him.</p>
<p>Besides he knew where this was going anyway. Straight down the misty emptiness that was The mindscape and to the right: Deceit’s room. </p>
<p>He left another note with it: “<em>Aloe </em>Loser, thought you might want another friend.”</p>
<p>So it was a joke and nothing more.</p>
<p>And if Virgil brainstormed a couple more bad cactus puns? Well.. that’s his business. He drew a few of the succulents too, but his window sill was clear and and he no longer felt awful for letting all of his gifted plants die.</p>
<p>That was something right?</p>
<p>It should have ended there.</p>
<p>But then Virgil had come upon one of those nights were he couldn’t-- fucking-- sleep. He tossed and turned and growled. Threw off his covers, pulled them back on, turned on the fan, drank warm milk, listened to the calming sounds of a thunderstorm--</p>
<p>It was hopeless. </p>
<p>He huffed and grabbed his sweatshirt before stalking out of his room, unsure of where he was even going. Thomas was resting peacefully, Roman was out making dreams and Remus was working with him for once to make some epic fantasy thing-- Virgil only knows this because Roman had actually been excited that his brother agreed to help him rather than hindered him. </p>
<p>Virgil was just glad Remus wasn’t antagonizing them again.</p>
<p>The grey fog swirled around him as he walked, feeling like a fine mist against his exposed skin. He triple checked Thomas’s schedule, the memories of Thomas’s plans with friends and family, he checked the viewers most recent comments-- but whatever was keeping him up wasn’t tied to Thomas.</p>
<p>(Which was ridiculous because it was tied to Virgil who was already tied to Thomas, which meant-- geez he was too tired to finish the thought.) </p>
<p>“Virgil?”</p>
<p>The voice shook him from his pondering, soft and gentle and coaxing. Virgil wasn’t surprised to find Dee standing in the grey mass looking every bit irritated at Virgil felt, only he was still dressed for the day. His purple and gold  tunic was covered in a foul smelling goop and there were smudges of green on his face and in his hair. His shoes made a horrid squelching noise with every step and his hat and caplet were missing.</p>
<p>“What are you doing out?” Virgil huffed, curling his shoulders.</p>
<p>Deceit exhaled sharply, “Well I <em>was </em>heading to find the memories of the day to file away, but Remus rearranged the floor again without telling me and I discovered a <em>lovely S</em>lip-N-Slide from my door straight to a pit of <em>something </em>green.” He grimaced, “I don’t want to know what it is.”</p>
<p>Virgil winced. “That’s...” he started, “rough.” </p>
<p>Deceit scoffed, “That is one way to put it.” He wiped his hands together as if he he could get rid of the goop, “And you? What are you doing haunting the halls of Thomas’s mind like a specter of the night, Anxiety?”</p>
<p>“Can’t sleep.” Virgil replied.</p>
<p>He shifted for a moment twisting his hands in his sweatshirt while Deceit pretended not to notice. The silence was a stifling sort, the type that echoed through all of Thomas and made Virgil violently aware that neither of them were actually real beings as much as just metaphysical figments from the imagination of a man with a incredible obsession for Disney. </p>
<p>“I should be going.” Deceit said finally. “Good Night--”</p>
<p>“Wait,” Virgil said, too loudly, too quickly, too suddenly. </p>
<p>Deceit raised an eyebrow at him and he worried his bottom lip between his teeth.</p>
<p>“I, uh,” Virgil sighed and then rolled his shoulders back, “My room’s closer. I think I still have some of your clothes in there. If you want to... like change.”</p>
<p>Deceit stared at him for far too long.</p>
<p>“I---” the side said tilting his head, “No that’s okay, Virgil. I don’t want to be a hassle.”</p>
<p>“You aren’t a hassle, Dee.” </p>
<p>Virgil thought it should be a lie coming from him, because he’d spent so long being angry at Dee for so many reasons-- too many to count and keep straight. He had whined and complained and arguments and grumbled so many times because Deceit refused to leave Thomas, to leave Virgil himself alone. </p>
<p>But here they are now.</p>
<p>And Virgil was reminded that he didn’t know what his feelings about Deceit were. He just knew that they were there, and very present, and that they had been growing ever since he saw that Deceit kept his stupid little cactus. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Deceit said and it was barely more than a whisper in the night.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Virgil echoed.</p>
<p>The walk back to Virgil’s room was weird. There was a tension in the air that Virgil couldn't place, didn’t want to place, tried not to place. Deceit’s mouth opened once or twice but he aborted whatever thought it was at the last second. It was entirely unlike him. Virgil fidgeted with the loose string of his pocket. </p>
<p>The squelching of Deceit’s shoes make both of them wince, but once back in Virgil’s room Virgil summoned a container of Clorox wipes for him. It was silent while Deceit cleaned himself up and Virgil hunted down those old clothes he knew were still in his room. It was the third drawer by the time he found them: stuffed behind a bunch of other clothes that Virgil never wore anymore.</p>
<p>“Why did you keep my cactus?” Virgil asked, trying not to watch as Deceit stripped shamelessly in front of him (and god at least that about him was still the same). </p>
<p>“Why did you gift me a dead cactus?” Deceit asked right back.</p>
<p>“I think you know the answer to that,” Virgil said.</p>
<p>Deceit turned around to face him and Virgil realized that he gave him the wrong shirt because that one is definitely his own. Deceit was never a band fan: always preferring to listen to classical and read philosophy than bounce around with Virgil as the beat move through them. Still with his dark eye lashes and cocky grin he wore that shirt better than Virgil ever did. </p>
<p>“Do I?” He said startling Virgil out of his thoughts. Virgil tore his eyes off Deceit’s chest, away from the his piercing eyes and very kissable lips (not that Virgil was thinking of kissing him, okay. It was late and he was tired and there aren’t many other adjectives to describe what the hell type of lips Deceit has). </p>
<p>“You do,” Virgil confirmed, flopping onto his bed.</p>
<p>“Ah,” Deceit said and then so carefully slid onto the opposite corner of the bed, barely even on the bed at all. He looked a bit like he was waiting for Virgil to tell him to get off, to get out, to get on with his life. “Then I supposed you gave me the cactus because you hate me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t hate you,” Virgil said. </p>
<p>“Because you hated me?”</p>
<p>“I...” Virgil hesitated.</p>
<p>“Because you wanted to remind me that what we had between us was dead.”</p>
<p>Virgil didn’t say anything because it wasn't a question anymore. Deceit didn’t say anything either because-- because he was <em>Deceit </em>and there was too much history between them to fill the silence with memories. They simply stare at opposite sides of the room. </p>
<p>“So,” Virgil said after a moment. “If you knew that, why did you keep it?”</p>
<p>Deceit stood up suddenly, taking a deep breath and letting it out, “Perhaps because even I can be an optimistic fool sometimes.” He turned away, “Thank you Virgil. I’ll go now-”</p>
<p>“Wait--”</p>
<p>“Good night.”</p>
<p>“Deceit!” Virgil said and Deceit froze where he was, one hand on the door handle, one foot prepared to run off. With his back to Virgil, he couldn't make out the expression of Deceit’s face, but he was guessing it was a grimace.</p>
<p>Whatever Virgil was going to say is gone and to be honest Virgil wasn’t sure it was ever there. Some part of him had started screaming the moment that Deceit had gone to leave and Virgil had reacted without a thought.</p>
<p>“Do you--” Virgil cleared his throat, “Would you--” He stuttered off. Virgil squeezed his eyes closed, “Where do you keep it?”</p>
<p>Deceit stared at the door for a long moment. Virgil counted each and every breath until he spoke up again. “The desk in my room gets a lot of light. I’ve lined them all up.”</p>
<p>“All?”</p>
<p>“All,” Deceit echoed. “They look nice while I read.”</p>
<p>Virgil’s mouth felt dry and he wasn’t sure why. </p>
<p>“Good night, Virgil,” Deceit said again, softly and opened the door to step back out into the mindscape. </p>
<p>“Deceit!” Virgil called one more time, “Do you....If I...” He took another breath, “Would you like another one?”</p>
<p>“Another Cactus?” Deceit asked</p>
<p>And Virgil didn’t know how to say “Another Chance” or “Another hug” or “Another Kiss” so instead he just nodded.</p>
<p>Deceit looked at him again, his scales glimmering in the dull light. He smiled sorta--kinda--probably. “Yes, Virgil,” He said, “If you have another to offer.”</p>
<p>Virgil told himself not to get excited, not to get anxious, not to get overwhelmed.</p>
<p>After all, it was just a cactus and nothing more.</p>
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